The key to appreciating this book comes from its title and its emphasis upon a ‘Loving Approach’ and ‘Meaningful Connections’ in the care of a person with dementia. It is personal in both its content and delivery. One of the most moving scenarios is from the author's own life, and the compassion and understanding that the author describes throughout is rooted in her own experience of dementia and its effects on families and carers. The author's stated purpose is to lighten the carer's everyday load (p. 1), by seeking to provide guidance, options and techniques to assist carers to manage better with the extremely difficult role that they fulfil. There is a real sense of the complexities of providing care while at the same time carers are given the reassurance that the feelings they may experience are normal, and that they should celebrate their role. The use of case studies helps make the book a living experience to which many carers will relate. The author emphasises throughout the need for carers to look after themselves, and to seek support and assistance. Stress experienced by the carer has a direct impact on the person with dementia and their behaviour, and the author emphasises the need for calm and serenity.

Most chapters (Chapters 2–18) follow a similar format, beginning with a scenario involving a person with dementia and their carer. These cover a wide range of experiences including the difficulties carers experience in coming to terms with a dementia diagnosis, as well as the range of dementia symptoms and behaviours. Each scenario is followed by two sections: ‘Lessons Learned’ which explains what happens in the case study and points in a supportive manner to what could have been done differently; and ‘Perceptions and Approaches’ which provides practical advice about options that could change the outcomes in those situations. The scenario is a tool for enabling these two sections to be more meaningful and real to the reader/carer.

The author favours the affirmative response method of communication (p. 115), which she believes reduces a carer's stress levels and enables better emotional connections with the person with dementia. One vivid example of this method is contained in the case study of Edna who imagined clowns in her home. Rather than contradict Edna's view of the world, the author affirmed what she was experiencing and removed the clowns and thus, the problem, from her home. Further discussion and more in-depth analysis of this method would have been helpful. It is significant that the majority of chapter headings are the names of the individuals whose story is being told, and the author makes clear the need to understand the person with dementia – their past lives as well as their present circumstances. The practical usefulness of the book is particularly marked in its closing chapters, especially the final chapter on some difficult but common experiences such as managing the personal hygiene needs of the person with dementia and adapting to new routines and circumstances.

This book will be a particularly useful tool in opening discussions in carers’ groups, encouraging exchange of experiences and information, and providing reassurance. But it would also be beneficial for professionals to read this account of what the reality of providing care can mean, and how important early diagnosis and provision of information can be. The author uses one case study entitled ‘Deborah’ to exemplify this, with a diagnosis of moderate cognitive impairment being given to her mother but no further explanation or advice provided about the journey on which they were about to embark.

While the book may lack academic rigour, it does what it aims to do which is to provide information and options to carers to help turn their role from a burden to a meaningful experience, and it does so with compassion. The book's tone is positive and upbeat throughout, although that may also be a weakness. It can at times read as if the author is a horse whisperer for carers and people with dementia. Not everyone will have access to such problem-solving techniques, or the ability to engage in this way. For the carer who is accessing support, the author fails to comment on the availability or cost of such support, which are crucial factors in providing the care and support identified in the book. Passing reference only is made to carers having to change working arrangements or the cost of carer support provision. The need to develop dementia-friendly communities is touched on but not developed and no reference is made to provision of carers’ assessments. We all need to become dementia aware and we need to consider now how we, as a society, will carry out our responsibilities to meet the needs of people with dementia. This book makes a contribution towards achieving this.